New Year, Same ol’ Me

It’s that time of year again. The old year is drawing to a close and many of us begin to consider ways we can refashion ourselves into better people. We like to believe that we’re discontent with the “old us”. Next year, it’s going to be different. I’ll diet and lose weight. I’ll exercise. I’ll be kinder to my fellow humans. I’ll finally return that library book that has been overdue since 1977.

The ball begins to descend. Party horns toot, confetti falls, Auld Lang Syne plays in the background as we kiss our Companions, dates, or that Afghan hound that’s been hanging about way too much lately. For the first few days, or even weeks after the massive hangover has been dealt with, I actually do put on that alien façade and try to be a different person.

I feel good about myself. Look at the new and improved me! See? I told you I’d do it! And, then it happens. A moment of weakness.

Never in the history of the world has there been a more perfect Red Velvet Cheesecake, or a more mouth-watering loaf of warm, yeasty bread. One serving. No more. After the food has magically disappeared, I promise myself it was just a minor slip; nothing more.

A day or two later, I am taking a leisurely stroll through the supermarket with my shopping cart. All around me, eardrums are pierced by the shriek of a little one who simply cannot live without that Three Musketeers bar the size of a surfboard. Minutes pass and the screams begin to shatter the glass in the frozen foods displays. The mother, apparently deaf, continues her way up and down the aisles gathering her Sister Shubert’s sausage rolls and that tinned chicken on sale, 4 for a dollar. I’m not sure I can tolerate one more second of his anguished wailing.

Something inside me just snapped. I felt a ripping sensation in my brain. I try so hard to explain it to the Judge in a way he’ll understand. He isn’t buying it, though. He passes sentence. Now, I’m sitting on the hard iron cot, trying to convince my new roommate that, while he may be a perfectly nice person, I’m just not interested in him “in that way”. I remind myself that if I’d just gone on with my life the way it was, without adding the stress of trying to recreate myself, I mightn’t be here right now.

Despite the many, many flaws and shortcomings you may have seen exhibited from time to time, there is no reason whatsoever for you to expect to see any New Year’s Resolutions coming from this corner. Nope; I’m going to stay fat and sassy and mean and trifling. And, out of jail!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Here’s a New Year’s Resolution you can easily keep. Check out my fellow bloggers and follow their posts. It may not make you a better person, but you’ll damn sure be entertained!

And, don’t forget to click over to Amazon.com and pick up your copy of New Yesterdays. Read it, and tell all your friends about it!

About Ol' Big Jim

Jim L. Wright is a storyteller with a lifetime of experiences as colorful as the characters he creates. Born and raised in Piedmont, Alabama, Jim’s connection to the land, history, and people of the region runs deep. His debut novel New Yesterdays is set in his hometown, where he grew up listening to stories of the past—stories that sparked his imagination and curiosity for history. Today, Jim lives in Leeds, Alabama, with his husband Zeek, a tour operator who shares his passion for adventure and discovery. Known affectionately as “Ol’ Big Jim,” he has had a diverse career that includes time as a storekeeper, an embalmer, a hospital orderly, and a medical coder. There are even whispers—unconfirmed, of course—that he once played piano in a house of ill repute. No matter the job, one thing has remained constant: Jim is a teller of tales. His stories—sometimes humorous, sometimes thought-provoking—are often inspired by his unique life experiences. Many of these tales can be found on his popular blog, Ol’ Big Jim, where he continues to share his musings with a loyal readership. Jim’s adventures have taken him far beyond Alabama. For seven years, he lived in Amman, Jordan, the world’s oldest continuously inhabited city. His time there, spent in smoky coffee shops, enjoying a hookah and a cup of tea while scribbling in his ever-present notebook, deeply influenced his worldview and his writing. When Jim isn’t writing, he’s thinking about writing. His stories, whether tall tales from his past or imaginative reimagining is of historical events should read from his past or imaginative reimaginings of historical events, reflect a life lived fully and authentically. With New Yesterdays, Jim brings readers a rich tapestry of history, fantasy, and human connection. Visit his blog at www.olbigjim.com to read more of his stories, or follow him on social media to keep up with his latest musings and projects, one of which is a series that follows Bonita McCauley, an amateur detective who gets into some very sticky situations. His book, New Yesterdays, can be found at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Smashwords, and Barnes and Noble.

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