Well now, I ain’t one to go spreadin’ falsehoods — not on a Friday, anyhow — but I swear on a stack of hymnals as high as your hat that I once seen a frog drink hot cocoa. And I don’t mean a polite little sip, neither. I mean he drank it down like a parched bootlegger at a whiskey barrel.

It happened over in Calhoun County, where such things tend to occur, on account of there bein’ no law against ‘em. I was sittin’ outside the saloon, mindin’ my own affairs, when along comes young Billy Joe Sampson with a cup of cocoa, steam risin’ off it like a locomotive. He says, “Watch this.”

Well, I braced myself, ‘cause any time Billy Joe says “watch this,” the undertaker starts oilin’ his tools.

He sets that cocoa right down in front of a big, solemn frog he called Jeremiah. That frog sat there like a green gentleman, hands folded neat as you please, starin’ at the cup as if considerin’ its eternal soul. Then quicker’n you can wink, he unrolled that tongue of his and whip! — the cocoa was gone, cup and all rattlin’ empty.

The crowd gasped, the Widow Perkins fainted dead away, and Billy Joe looked fit to declare Jeremiah for Congress. But the frog, well, he commenced to hiccuppin’. And these weren’t your everyday hiccups — no sir. Each one launched him three feet in the air, like a grasshopper with dynamite in its britches.

He bounded across the street, hiccupped through the blacksmith’s shop, knocked over two buckets of nails, and ricocheted smack into Deacon Wilkins’ outhouse. The Deacon come out yellin’ scripture, the frog shot out hiccuppin’ louder than before, and last, I seen of him he was bouncin’ off toward Rock Run, leavin’ a trail of cocoa-scented burps behind him.

Now, I don’t expect you to believe me — I wouldn’t believe me, neither, if I hadn’t been there. But I’ll tell you this much: frogs do drink cocoa, though they ain’t built to keep it. And if you ever meet one that asks for a marshmallow, you’d best decline, unless you’ve got a strong roof and a good lawyer.

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And, you know I would never leave you while neglecting the obligatory shameless self-promotion. New Yesterdays is available through the following links: Books-A-Million, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon as well as your favorite bookshops. The Audiobook is available from Libro.fm, as well as Amazon.