Pecos Bill’s Insurance Adjuster

(Who Would Like It Known That Certain Events Were Not Covered)

I was assigned to Pecos Bill’s territory in the spring of 1883.

By the time autumn wandered in, I no longer believed weather was a naturally occurring phenomenon.

The Assignment

At the time, I was considered one of the company’s more promising adjusters.

Detail-oriented.

Reliable.

Capable of distinguishin’ between flood damage and wind damage.

This was before I learned there existed a third category.

The First Claim

The first claim arrived in April.

A farmer reported the loss of a barn.

Cause of damage:

“Cowboy.”

Naturally, I assumed the man was drunk.

I denied the claim.

Three days later I visited the property.

The barn was gone.

Not damaged.

Gone.

The farmer pointed toward the horizon.

I looked.

The barn was approximately two counties away.

An Explanation Is Offered

I asked what happened.

The farmer sighed.

The way a man sighs when explainin’ the obvious.

Then he said:

“Bill was practicin’.”

Now you’ll notice that this statement explains absolutely nothin’.

Yet everybody present appeared satisfied.

The Tornado Matter

The next incident involved weather.

Or what I believed was weather.

Several witnesses reported observin’ Mr. Bill ridin’ a tornado.

At speed.

Using a saddle.

Now company policy contains extensive language concernin’:

hail
lightning
floods
fire

There is surprisingly little guidance regardin’ recreational cyclone usage.

The Committee Meeting

Back at headquarters I filed my report.

The claims committee read it.

Silently.

Then the chairman asked:

“Are you serious?”

I replied:

“I used to be serious, but that was before I entered Pecos Bill’s territory.

Now I’m merely reportin’.”

Claim #47

Cause of Loss:
Atmospheric relocation of cattle.

The policyholder alleged that a tornado carrying Mr. Bill had inadvertently transferred thirty-two head of livestock into Oklahoma.

Investigation confirmed the cattle.

Investigation also confirmed Oklahoma.

Claim #63

Cause of Loss:
Excessive rope deployment.

Now this one was unusual even by local standards.

Apparently, Mr. Bill had attempted to rope a thundercloud.

Why?

The witnesses disagreed.

One claimed he was conductin’ research.

Another said he was just bored.

Frankly, given what I’ve learned recently, both explanations seemed equally plausible.

The River Incident

I arrived at a ranch to inspect flood damage.

Only to discover there was no river.

The rancher informed me there had once been a river.

A very good river.

Dependable.

Predictable.

Then Bill had gotten involved.

The river now occupied an entirely different valley.

When asked why, the rancher shrugged and said:

“Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

I did not inquire whose idea.

I already knew.

A Professional Breakdown

By July I had developed a system.

Every new claim was placed into one of three categories:

Category A

Normal weather.

Category B

Livestock.

Category C

Pecos Bill.

Category C soon required its own filing cabinet.

The Final Straw

The event that ended my career occurred in late August.

A ranch owner submitted a claim for damages caused by what he described as:

“Experimental weather cowboyin’.”

Now there comes a point in every man’s life when his faith is tested.

Mine arrived in triplicate.

The Investigation

I traveled to the site.

Interviewed witnesses.

Reviewed evidence.

Measured impact areas.

And after three days of work, I reached the only conclusion available.

The claim was accurate.

Every word of it.

My Resignation

Upon returning to headquarters, I submitted a letter.

It read:

Dear Sirs,

I have devoted fourteen years to the insurance profession.

During that time, I have successfully evaluated floods, fires, storms, and acts of God.

I am no longer qualified to evaluate acts of Pecos Bill.

Respectfully,

Hiram T. Wainwright

Closing Observation

Now people often ask whether the stories about Pecos Bill are true.

To which I reply:

I certainly hope not.

Because if even half of them happened…

The laws of nature are nothing more than suggestions.

Final Note

I still receive correspondence from former clients.

Every now and then a letter arrives describin’ some impossible event.

A mountain moved.

A cloud behaved suspiciously.

A creek developed opinions.

And at the bottom of the page, without fail, are the same three words:

“Bill was involved.”

And that, as near as I can determine from the surviving records, is how I became the only insurance adjuster in American history to classify a natural disaster as a repeat customer.

About Ol' Big Jim

Jim L. Wright is a storyteller with a lifetime of experiences as colorful as the characters he creates. Born and raised in Piedmont, Alabama, Jim’s connection to the land, history, and people of the region runs deep. His debut novel New Yesterdays is set in his hometown, where he grew up listening to stories of the past—stories that sparked his imagination and curiosity for history. Today, Jim lives in Leeds, Alabama, with his husband Zeek, a tour operator who shares his passion for adventure and discovery. Known affectionately as “Ol’ Big Jim,” he has had a diverse career that includes time as a storekeeper, an embalmer, a hospital orderly, and a medical coder. There are even whispers—unconfirmed, of course—that he once played piano in a house of ill repute. No matter the job, one thing has remained constant: Jim is a teller of tales. His stories—sometimes humorous, sometimes thought-provoking—are often inspired by his unique life experiences. Many of these tales can be found on his popular blog, Ol’ Big Jim, where he continues to share his musings with a loyal readership. Jim’s adventures have taken him far beyond Alabama. For seven years, he lived in Amman, Jordan, the world’s oldest continuously inhabited city. His time there, spent in smoky coffee shops, enjoying a hookah and a cup of tea while scribbling in his ever-present notebook, deeply influenced his worldview and his writing. When Jim isn’t writing, he’s thinking about writing. His stories, whether tall tales from his past or imaginative reimagining is of historical events should read from his past or imaginative reimaginings of historical events, reflect a life lived fully and authentically. With New Yesterdays, Jim brings readers a rich tapestry of history, fantasy, and human connection. Visit his blog at www.olbigjim.com to read more of his stories, or follow him on social media to keep up with his latest musings and projects, one of which is a series that follows Bonita McCauley, an amateur detective who gets into some very sticky situations. His book, New Yesterdays, can be found at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Smashwords, and Barnes and Noble.

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